avan marcus me
Halloween at Play was such a bore!!! At least my friends were there..not that bored.I was feeling very bottled up....Emo to the Max.....feeling a sense of condemnation, when no one was condemning me....feeling that i was being chased yet no ones after me. I feel that I'm an actor, acting as if ,i am a Happy & Rich invidual who's life is enriched with full goodness in life, But in reality Depressed & poor who's life is whithering of goodness. Feeling Damned By God, punishing me for sins I know nothing of. The sense of envy & jealousy, when couples hold hands, cuddle and joke with each other. How much good in life do i Have to accomplish To earn such glorious feeling? How? Why? When? Its not just love that i crave for, its Life, Life without problems, Life without certain suprises. I fear losing friends when they learn the real me. Imagine a person, who would Want that 'special' someone,But doesn't advance to that person because he is afraid of rejection and feel that the special someone is out of his league. The inferiority I Feel every time i like someone, always gets me so drained. Everytime i dismiss the feeling, it comes back to haunt me later. How am i Going to Survive this worthless, selfless and loveless Life?.........
God you've never heard me, but Hurt me giving me life.
