Days have past eversince the so called break up.Since then iI have been feeling shitty about the whole incident. I've realised that I have not lost him.I will not say that he was the object of my first affections. I hve been feeling passionate about Tony for a long time. But I don't deny giving those feelings the title of LOVE. This may seem unfair to those who dun know the difference. But those who agree calling infantile crushes, LOVE, is calling a dandelion a rose. Ther is simply no comparison.
I suppose that we all will lose our love ones one way or another in matter of time. But the truth is, real love is something that one never truly loses: as long we hold to the feeling, that emotion, that is love at its first and purest state. Well, I felt that with Tony. It didn't take much time for me to say 'I Love U' even though that i have been saying it with my eyes the whole time i was with him 24\7. I'm In love, damn The whole world!
Ever single important moment with him, from the first kiss, first voicing of tremendous feeling inside, first make out was completely perfect(even though it might be one sided). In a month, I ran through every single passionate emotion a human being can posses.
Finally I made a mistake or two and it became apparent that he has many things to do that he couldn't do with me as he was dating another( which is a friend of mine Sigh..) And I have been loving him so deeply.Even that din stop me from loving him even more.
In days that followed the so called break up. Irealized that it was hurting me incredibly(still) to have 'lost' him, I had gained him as a friend, that was more important then anythin else(Yeah right, whoo am i kidding?).
Months Or even years down the line, I am sure and HOPE , that we will be up together again, for there is much unfinished buisness and untapped emations between us.
But even if that never comes to pass, he is, and will always my TONY as well as one of my truest friend. Ther is so much I want to thanks him for, and i cannot,so I will merely show it through my actions, how much he means to me. I give him comppassion, now, instead of passion(i miss it)
Love, true love, trendscends all.It does not have to be passionate. It does not have to be wild. It does not have to be romantic. True love is all those things, at one time or another, but it endures through all the ups and downs,adapts to all situations and never gives up.
That is what gives those who love truly the incredible hope that all others find so amazing and foolish.
But those who love ar not foolish......they are, for the first time, truly and open to feeling all emotions that can possibly be felt by the human soul. I Am Not a Fool To have loved and lost TONY, For i lost nothing, I've the world.
P.S The image of him and the feelings I have for him is honest abd pure and will stay that way.Held in the past . Preserved in Mind.
I Love You TONY...
Still Loving you
